CHANGE

Life without my little Shorty is hard to say the least. I have had tidal waves crash over me! I have had to adapt to being solely alone, which I knew would be hard but this is much harder than my brain allowed. I have however, decided to take charge of my life and open myself to experiences I was not able to do. For starters I am taking a cruise. I realized I need to move forward and clear some things and people out of my life that have been rather toxic to me. It is amazing how one major event in life transfers to other areas to open your eyes to what you are willing to endure.

I had an experience that really made me think, and I would like to share it with you all.

I am working as a camp host in a booth (taking an entry fee) for a county park in Florida, in exchange I get free rent in the beautiful park. I have hundreds of people go through my booth each day. The other day a man came through. He was so quiet and wouldn’t make eye contact. He had two child car seats in the back. I thought it was strange that he was so quiet because normally I can get everyone to talk… even for a split moment. This man was different; I felt it but did not connect it.

This beautiful human spent a bit of time in the park and then set up a chair in a little nook by the water. He watched the sunset, more than likely contemplating life as we all do. This man was different though; he gave up. After the sun hit the horizon, he took his life by holding a shotgun to his throat and pulled the trigger. He blew out the top of head. That was it. He chose to watch the sunset and quit.. Leaving his wife and children.

I can’t imagine what torment he was going through that would leave a human no other choice than to take their life. I can only imagine his struggles. This really affected me because perhaps I was the last person he spoke with. I didn’t get the chance to look in his eyes to see his pain that he carried. Oh how I wish I could have had the chance to climb into his heart and talk to him, even for a minute, and tell him we are here for him… things will get better. You see, I was in such a sad place myself and I understand how important it is to be seen in dark moments. I just wish….

I wish we as humans would stop being angry, stop being cruel, stop treating people like they are not worth love. I wish we would stop and realize that we do not know where each others breaking points are. That last act we inflict on one another could be the last moment they can carry. The weight we carry is HARD enough each day! Why do we lie? Why do we hide things? Why do we make choices that hurt people or take away their self-worth that many of us struggle to protect? As a society we must learn to open our hearts and treat EVERYONE with respect and with kid gloves. Life is hard enough! We don’t know what others are going through because we have learned to mask our sadness, fears and insecurities.  We smile and socialize while we are around people so we do not inconvenience them with our problems, make them feel uncomfortable by talking about our sadness. We hide that we are struggling so we are not judged. However, when we are alone…. We feel every single minute of our true emotions, ALONE.

Lets change this by paying attention! Stop and talk to a human that walks with their head down, compliment them, ask questions, show them how important they are in this life. It takes ONE SECOND to say a kind word! Maybe, just maybe… that one kind act can save a life. We just don’t know. I for one am a changed person. I pay more attention now to people. Yesterday another man went through my line. I asked him how he is doing in life. He slowly looked up at me, making eye contact. I saw pain. He didn’t say anything but I could SEE he was hurting. I simply responded… I am here if you would like to talk. I love you as a human. He then broke down and told me…. Life is hard, life is really hard right now. No one cares. I said loudly… I CARE!!!!! I AM HERE!!! I went out of the booth and hugged him and told him that I am here! That yes, life is HARD… but it is a minute right now. A minute we need to fight for ourselves! That as hard as the lows are, the highs compensate/balance the lows. We must always remember that the lows are there so we can appreciate the highs. That people (maybe not all people) are here to help, to listen, to share your pain. FIGHT!!! REACH OUT!! SHARE!!! Do NOT be silent! Do NOT quit! Life IS beautiful but we need to work for that beauty. WE NEED TO LOVE OURSELVES AND TREAT PEOPLE WITH LOVE!! We never know how one minute that we share love with another human will change their life!

This man, this beautiful human…. Was quitting. He came up on his way out of the park and hugged me again, and thanked me for seeing his pain. Showing compassion to him. Acknowledging that he was hurting when no one else has.  

IT WAS A MINUTE. ONE MINUTE that I happen to catch because I missed it in the poor man that actually took his life. The man that changed my life in order for me to open up again and get out of my own pain so that I could see… that others are hurting too.

WE ARE A TRIBE OF HUMANS, ALL TRYING TO SURVIVE THROUGH OUR OWN STORIES! LETS OPEN OUR EYES AND LOVE EACH OTHER! PAY ATTENTION TO EACH OTHER, SEE THE SMALLEST OF THINGS IN EACH OTHER… LOVE EACH OTHER AS A HUMAN, A TRIBE WE ALL ARE A PART OF! WE DO NOT KNOW WHEN WE ARE CHANGING THE PATH OF ANOTHER HUMAN!

JUST LOVE!!

I love you ALL! I am here! I will listen! You are NOT alone!!

Peace, Love and Light Friends!!

Nomadic Soul Seeker