It has been awhile since I have posted anything. Mainly because I have been traveling and learning, about myself, about people, about history, about how to live.  Truly living a life that works for me. It may not be for everyone or anyone for that matter but it works for me and can easily be transferred into your life.

I have always felt lost, like I didn’t “fit in”, I have a hard time connecting with people on a deeper level of love. I love people, I love hearing their stories about life and surviving, I love learning about culture and the different ways people learn to live and survive in this short time we are on earth. We face joy, hardships, life changes, and as we get older we find new ways to adapt. We grow, change, learn and life challenges us to a breaking point. As we stand on that tight wire knowing we can/will fall off in one direction or the other, we must actively think of what each side has to offer or how it will change us or add to our life. This is where we must know ourselves, love ourselves, well enough to see clearly on how this snap decision will affect us as we teeter the wire, so when we fall we can catch ourselves and make it a softer landing.

You see, each relationship (no matter a friendship, lovers, family, strangers passing through our life for a brief moment) brings us something we must learn from.

I have been reflecting my “take aways” as I learn about myself on this journey. Solo travel opens a path to self-discovery that is so much more powerful than I first realized. I have backpacked through Thailand, Indonesia, and Cambodia. I have traveled from most National parks from Glacier down to the Grand Canyon and then over to the California coast and up to Washington. I have hiked 100 miles on the PCT trail in California. None of which were left without lessons and self growth. Yet, I was still feeling lost and thirsty for more.

Here I am in month 4 of my year journey of traveling in my little R-Pod travel trailer through the U.S. and am still thirsty for life and clarity!

Life is so complicated when we involve others, we allow them to change our core selves and steer our beliefs of life. We are constantly seeking acceptance or wanting pats on the back for our accomplishments in work, what we live in, where we are in the workforce etc… the list is LONG! Constantly trying to show everyone that we are “put together”. Justifying this, that and the other instead of being proud of where we are in life. I am a mess and proud of it because I am still growing and learning!

My gosh, we have SO many influences around us, how can we possibly just sit in our own shit and think! We have to feel connected through Facebook, Instagram, texting, T.V, social networks, dating sites etc. just to feel connected somehow! We add anyone that asks to take a peek into our world just to “show” we have our shit together and are rocking this thing called life. The reality I am finding is so much different than what we “show” others though. We have forgotten what it feels like to disconnect and just live. We have full on conversations in a text! We have hundreds of friends on Facebook, yet sit alone night after night alone not interacting with anyone in person, we get jealous of what we see others doing on facebook and think their life is so amazing (hence fakebook), we see pictures of others and wish we looked like that, we see others homes and toys and are envious of what they have, leading us to go out and buy beyond our means, making life even harder because we have to work more just to pay for these items! We have a beautiful/amazing/loving person in our life yet feel compelled to see “who else” is out there on dating sites! It is ENDLESS if we allow this in our solitude of who we really are. Just look into your own life and ask yourself if any of this fits your world. If the answer is yes, I implore you to start a journey of self-love and acceptance. To see yourself as the beautiful person you are. To take a pause everyday to reflect on all the beauty that is in your life currently… the people that MEAN something to you, the friends you actually “talk” to and are there for you , the people that allow you to be the “real” you (even the messy you), to watch a sunset, to walk barefoot in nature, to listen to the ocean, to take yourself to a movie, to drive on a country road and blast your favorite songs! DO YOU! Whatever you do, do it for YOU, no one but you! Learn to sit alone and embrace yourself for all you offer the world. Walk away from the extreme harshness we hear everyday on tv, the negative buzz that is nagging us to be better, do more, make more money, have a bigger home, find a better mate, etc! Just stop and listen to yourself in silence in a place that calms your soul. Refresh your spirit and embrace the moment for all it can offer. Then, when you return to the daily grinds, you may see/hear the ‘noise” that has been stopping you from truly living your life without the craziness. You see, we acclimate to our surroundings just like the climate we live in. It is hard to stay grounded and continue to grow when we are guided by outside forces. Take the time to get to know your true core soul so you can live in this crazy world, but with a quieter guide so you can see clearly. Then when that tight wire gives us options on where to fall/or jump off, we can see the ground a little more clearly and see what each side can offer or what consequence’s we will put into our soul.

On this journey, I have been discovering why I was drowning. I have been finding my calm space, embracing it in fact, and really listening to myself. I have had to leave people behind that where to “noisy” in my life, and it is HARD! People that make me second-guess myself and my beliefs, people I don’t trust to be myself with. We are just different people, one not better than the other but just have different moral compasses. We must find our tribe instead of conforming to other people’s way of life and change who we are at our own center. I am learning to love myself and live with myself instead of trying to impress others, live my life that truly is making me a better human, calmer, more centered. Making friends that I can relate to and do not feel I need to impress because they love me for me, just how I am.  You see, I am gaining my tribe and clearing the “noise”. I love people, but just because I love them does not mean I need to surround myself with them. If I feel myself changing, fearful or even doubting what they are adding to my life… then they must be loved afar, not in the immediate because I cannot afford to spend that much energy trying to quiet the  “noise”. I need my tribe, however large or small it is. People that I relate to and can relate to me. People that “add” to my growth. The old saying “ We are a reflection of who we surround ourselves with” is so true! Love them, but love them from afar. Life is not meant to be loud… it is the calm that clears our mind and allows us to be true.

Love to you all….

Noamadic-Soul-Seeker… seeking my tribe