Minnesota

Made it to Redwing, Minnesota where my dad grew up. This was an important stop for me. As kids we don’t really understand how our parents lived.  I often wonder how people will look back at how we currently live. Over the years I have gotten to know my dad more and more, and I think is getting to know me as well. I was a tough kid to level lol. I have always had this unsettled feel in me. Like I didn’t belong, or felt out of place. I have been working on being my true self and my gosh its hard with all the pressures of life on you. Everyone putting their thoughts of what’s right or wrong. I found I often did what I thought was expected of me, yet I never felt true to who I am meant to be. I often feel my dad maybe was thrown into the world alone to explore this about himself. I have had such an amazing experience watching him change throughout his years, and him me. He is a remarkable human and has had a HUGE impact on my life. I needed to see with my own eyes where he grew up… the environment, home, surroundings. It was truly an emotional time for me. I met family I have never met, which was wonderful! I know a lot about my mother’s side, but my dad is quieter with his stories unless asked. This led me to the little town of Redwing, Minnesota. This is also where things started to get real for me.  I realized that I was carrying fear here and loneliness. I also was getting to know my dad in a place of his youth. Where he was learning who he would become. It was surreal and calming. I loved every single minute of this adventure! I believe we all have a path to take, and need to follow it no matter how uncomfortable it may be. Life is supposed to be a journey of growth and growth needs room to make mistakes, experience sadness and fear, experience surroundings and gain knew knowledge of how things in this world work. It is truly ALL emotions tagging into one another. This allows growth and change.  Knowledge I sought out to learn about my dad, through his stories.

I decided to meet up with one of my sons friends (who lived with us a short time years ago)  who also lives in Minnesota (Rochester). This was special. We talked and talked and caught up on each other lives. He has a 5 year old and is an absolute wonderful parent. He too has been through a lot in life. He was in the Navy and I saw how things affected him. One being… goodbyes. I wont go to much into this because it is not my story to tell, however, I wish him so much love and calmness in his life. He is an amazing human, one I have missed. I know I was meant to cross paths again with this beautiful man.

This is where things got a little weird for me lol I thought I was ready to move on but was having a hard time wanting to… as if I was not meant to leave yet. I had not gained or given what I was completely meant to here in Minnesota. Forces were at work because my converter went out. I needed power to continue and hotels rarely allow dogs, yet here I was waiting for a part for 2 days so I could move on. This is when I met a man that offered to let me go to his dairy farm. I was in awe of how it all worked! I wanted/needed more.  I wanted to work with him and milk cows, cut hay and learn his life. His HARD WORKING, NEVER STOPS kind of life! He is by far the most sheltered, wholesome man I have met in my life. I didn’t even know men like this existed ( I am certain there are VERY FEW left in the world like this). Naturally, he was teaching me. I knew there was a lesson here with him.  I stayed about 4 days and was ready to head out when early that morning , my carbon monoxide alarm stopped working, and it was Saturday and no one in the shop to fix it. I was here until Monday that meant. It wasn’t time to go, which meant I had not given or taken the real reason for this pause.  He taught me about how life should be simple yet rewarding in hard work and I taught him how to stop and enjoy the moment of a sunset, or a parade (one he had NEVER been to his entire life in the same small town it took place). It was a give and give lesson on both ends. I bathed in these lessons and found a special place in my heart for this gift of a human. I love him. He loves me. Its that simple. Nothing more, nothing less…. We  bonded in Spring Valley Minnesota, over life.  Nevertheless, I was not finished with this journey and needed to continue on. So I left. I left my new friend and all the lessons and memories. I would treasure those moments and apply my new knowledge. You see….. Minnesota brought me love. Love of my fathers hometown, love of an old friend that needed validation he is a great person and dad, love of new knowledge and humans. Love… the STRANGEST word in life. What is it? If I say I love someone, I truly do. Love is not love to me the way people see it. It is not a complicated word to me. It is simply love. Pure and simple adoration of a person, place, object, circumstance, moment etc. It is a moment in time I feel my soul is full and I am true to myself. I love people. I often find it odd that we as a human race do not say it more openly. It is a beautiful way to express. We throw the word HATE around constantly… but the word LOVE? Hate/Love an antonym we do not use correctly (in my opinion) we are so careful with our words to not offend others yet the word HATE is such a powerful angry word that is used multiple times a day by many. Why is the word LOVE used so rarely and so easily misunderstood? Just my thoughts today.  Feel free to share your thoughts about this. Help me see your views !